


5 Times Buffy Saved Tara (+ One Time They Both Found Safety)

by centreoftheselights



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: 5+1 Things, Acceptance, Adulthood, Alternate Universe - Tara Lives, Emotional Growth, Emotional Support, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Episode: s05e06 Family, Episode: s06e13 Dead Things, F/F, Family Issues, Friends to Lovers, Heroism, Protectiveness, Recovery, Shooting, Stuttering, goodness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7300843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centreoftheselights/pseuds/centreoftheselights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The evolution of Tara and Buffy's relationship through Seasons 5 and 6. (AU where Tara never got shot.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Times Buffy Saved Tara (+ One Time They Both Found Safety)

**Author's Note:**

> Another old prompt from my [Femslash February requests](http://centrumlumina.tumblr.com/post/138495106946/femslash-february-prompts). Again, I'm sorry for the delay.
> 
> This is also a fill for "Speech or Language Disorder" on my [Femslash Diversity Bingo card](http://centrumlumina.tumblr.com/post/145605022111/hey-everyone-over-on-femslashrevolution-im).

The first time Buffy saved Tara, it was lifechanging.

Well, for Tara is was. Buffy did that sort of thing a lot. But for Tara…

Tara was shaking with fear, with dread, with the exhaustion of a lifetime's worth of demons finally catching up to her. She was so tired of running, and she had found a place she thought she could call home, but then her father had arrived and brought the truth crashing back into her life, torn her open again and reminded her about all the dirt inside.

It all came down to this: standing in the magic box, shaking, knowing she had messed everything up – _why can't you do anything right, girl?_ – wanting to scream but the words trapped on her tongue – _speak when you're spoken to!_ –  desperate to be allowed to stay but knowing she couldn't ask, she didn't have the right – _dinner is for good girls, Tara. Are you a good girl?_ _–_ and then –

And then Buffy said “You'll have to go through me,” and Tara was saved.

O f course, there was more to it than that. Dawn joined in, and then everyone else, and then she got hit on the nose and realised she wasn't a demon after all, but all of that – it wasn't that it didn't matter, but in hindsight it seemed inevitable.

It was Buffy –  the Slayer, the leader, the one everyone respected and followed and adored – she was the one who saved Tara. As soon as she spoke, Tara knew deep down that everything would be okay, and somewhere deep inside of her a weight she had been carrying for as long as she could remember turned to dust and disappeared.

That was the day that Tara learned how amazing the Slayer really was. She was the one who faced down the monsters and took away their power over you. She swooped in and  scared away your fears and didn't even wait around for you to say thank you.  She set you free.

She was a hero,  pure and simple, and Tara could never in a thousand years repay her for that.

 

The second time Buffy saved Tara was much less dramatic.

Intro to World Literature had sounded like a fun enough class, but the professor had made sure it was anything but. He ran late on every class, set ridiculous amounts of reading, and responded to questions with sarcasm and condescension. About half their class had dropped the course by the third week, and the rest – Tara included – were probably only there because this was a pre-requisite for just about every other Literature course available.

But at least Buffy was there. Tara hadn't had any other classes with her unless Willow was there too, but on the first day, Buffy had walked in, smiled at her and taken the seat beside hers on the back row.

“Hey there, study-buddy! Ready to get to grips with Gilgamesh?”

“Uh, y-yeah, sure...”

Although she had known Buffy for almost a year, Tara still found herself getting a little overwhelmed when Willow wasn't there to act as a buffer. Buffy was loud and confident and everything Tara wasn't, and a part of her still couldn't believe that Buffy was actually paying attention to her existence.

They quickly settled into a routine: Buffy would crack jokes, and Tara would laugh. On a good day, she sometimes managed to say something coherent in response, but nothing memorable. And every class she became more and more convinced that Buffy was only talking to her out of pity.

The professor only got worse as the final exam got closer, and a week before the exam, his temper was hair-trigger sensitive. He had started calling on random people to answer questions, like every class was a never-ending pop quiz.

“Miss Maclay.” Tara tried not to shrink in her seat as half the class craned their heads around to stare at her. “What does this line symbolise to you?”

“Th- th- th-”

She could feel it happening before she even spoke, anxiety stopping up her throat so the word stuck to her tongue like thick honey. _Not now_ , she thought, pleaded with herself, but she knew that wouldn't help. Fighting it only ever made it worse.

The class was still staring at her, and she could feel herself turning red with embarrassment. She glanced at the professor, hoping for mercy.

“In your own time, Miss Maclay,” he said with a sneer.

“Th-the, uh, r-r-r-right -”

“Abuse of power.” Buffy's voice rang out clear as a bell.

All eyes shifted to her.

“I beg your pardon?” the professor demanded.

“Well, that's what it's about, isn't it?” Buffy replied. “This guy thinks he's so great just because he's king of one measly little kingdom and everyone has to do what he says. But he doesn't have real power. And when the people who do realise how cruel he has been, how much pain he has caused -” Buffy's voice became low and threatening, and the whole room seemed to be holding its breath - “then they will make. Him. Hurt.”

The professor's nostrils flared in anger, but some self-preservation instinct kept him from arguing back.

“Don't talk out of turn, Miss Summers,” he said. “Now, moving on -”

Tara took a deep breath, and gulped down a drink of water as fast as she was able.

When class ended five minutes later, neither of them spoke until they were out of the classroom.

“Uh, thanks,” Tara forced herself to say, so humiliated that she wanted the floor to swallow her up whole.

“Are you kidding me?” Buffy asked. “It was the least I could do. I mean, I'm pretty sure you're the only reason I'm not failing this class.”

“Wh – what?”

Buffy smiled. “I got that whole 'abuse of power' thing from your notes – remember, I was out that class? You're the only reason I can remember any of this stuff. You're a much better teacher than he is, anyway.”

“That's not hard,” Tara said, so quickly she hadn't had time to think about it. She wanted to slap a hand over her mouth and take it back, but Buffy laughed.

“Tell me about it,” she agreed. “Do you think it's true that we get straight A's if our teacher mysteriously disappears before the end of the semester?”

“In Sunnydale?” Tara asked, teasingly. “No way!”

Buffy sighed dramatically.

“You're probably right. Still, a girl can dream.”

 

The third time Buffy saved Tara, Tara barely understood it.

She almost didn't understand anything.

Tara tries not to think back to that time. It isn't that she can't remember what it was like – that would be far kinder. But the loss of her mind to Glory has left the memories fuzzy, as though watching the world through a funfair mirror. Images without meaning. Seeing without understanding.

It's easier to pretend she doesn't remember it at all. As though she just fell asleep, and weeks passed, and when she woke up, Buffy died.

She should have stayed dead. Tara knew that was the natural order of things. She and Willow would take Dawn and try desperately to heal the holes in each others' hearts and the terrifying, fantastic adventure would be over. The Slayer would be gone.

If it had been Tara alone she wouldn't – _couldn't_ – have changed that. But Willow… Willow was something special. And Tara let herself be convinced, and Buffy rose from the dead.

Tara never regretted it. When she thought they had failed, she didn't regret trying it, and when she knew they had succeeded but at horrible cost, when she knew that Buffy hadn't wanted it – she may have been wracked with guilt, but she didn't regret what they had done. Not because the world needed Buffy, or even because of Dawn, scared and hurting and alone – but for the sake of the girl who had been faced with the impossible and had done it anyway.

Buffy deserved a second chance at life. Even if she didn't want one.

 

The fourth time Buffy saved Tara, it broke Tara's heart.

She had always known that without Willow, her place in the Scoobies was forefeit. She had worried about it even when she had thought Willow was her happily ever after, been afraid of the way she was coming to rely on this world that she was only invited to as a 'plus one'. When she chose to walk away, she had known she was walking away from it all – from the Magic Box and demons and patrolling. From friendship. From Buffy.

So when Buffy called up, saying she needed help – at first, Tara had assumed that meant Willow wasn't available, that she was the B team. But that wasn't it. Buffy needed _her_ , Tara, specifically. And even though it was just because she couldn't bear to tell Willow the truth -

Tara could be that for her. She was good at being the one who listened, the one who helped without judging or trying to change things. Acceptance had always been her strong suit, and if she could use that to help Buffy, even just a little, then she would.

Later that evening, when Buffy was crying on her lap, she wondered how she had instinctively known what Buffy needed from her. She felt so, so guilty for wanting this – _needing_ this. And even as her heart was breaking for her friend, it felt so good to be a part of something again, to be saving the world, one person at a time.

But she pushed those feelings out of her head, and focussed on what Buffy needed. She held her as she cried, and whispered, again and again:

“You're okay. You are not wrong. You are still good.”

 

The fifth time Buffy saved Tara, neither of them realised it.

When no-one answered her knocking, Tara let herself into the house. She was surprised to find Buffy sat in the front room with her head in her hands.

“Are you okay?”

Buffy looked up, startled. “What? Wait, why are you here? Is someone hurt?”

“No, I'm fine, don't worry,” Tara told her. “I just wanted to talk to Willow.”

“Oh,” Buffy said, still sounding distracted. “She's upstairs.”

Tara hesitated.

“Buffy. What's wrong?”

“Nothing! I -” Buffy stopped. “Wow, that didn't even convince me.”

Tara sat beside her on the sofa, waiting for Buffy to feel ready to talk.

“Spike told Xander and Anya,” she said after a minute. “About… you know.”

Tara nodded, and Buffy sighed.

“I just want things to be normal again,” she said. “But everything is so different, and I can't change it back. And the more I think about it, the less I know what normal even looks like. Like, maybe all the parts that used to make normal work are just… broken.”

In the silence that followed, Tara softly said: “You aren't broken.”

Buffy laughed. “That's the weird part. I… I'm starting not to think I am. I want to fix things, I do, but I keep trying to move backwards and I'm starting to realise that isn't going to work. I have to stop trying to pretend that the last year didn't happen, admit that I messed up, and actually move on with my life.”

Then she groaned. “Also, I have to tell Willow about the Spike thing. Before Xander does.”

Tara bit her lip, thoughts spinning in her head.

“You should do it now,” she said. “Fast – like ripping off a Band Aid.”

Buffy frowned. “I thought you wanted to -”

Tara shook her head. “It's late. I can talk to Willow tomorrow. This is more important.”

Then she turned and left, without ever going upstairs.

 

The next day, Tara got a phone call from Xander telling her that Warren had shot Buffy.

 

She spent the day in the hospital waiting room, letting Dawn cry on her shoulder and Willow squeeze her hand tight and then let it go. It was hours before they finally learned that medical science and Slayer healing skills had won the day. Buffy was going to pull through.

By the time Buffy was well enough to go home, the Trio were in jail. No-one had seen Spike since the day of the shooting. There was increased vampire activity thanks to word getting out about Buffy's injury, and Tara volunteered to join the patrol rota again, at least until Buffy could get back on her feet.

Slowly, things became normal again – or at least, as close as they ever got to it.

About a month after Buffy returned home from the hospital, Tara let herself into the house, and found Buffy doing tai chi in the living room. When she saw Tara, she smiled.

“Hey!”

“I bring supplies.” Tara held up the bags of groceries she was carrying. “I thought the cupboards might be getting empty.”

Buffy smiled. “You need a hand putting away? I'm almost done.”

“No, I'm fine. You finish up.”

A few minutes later, Buffy joined Tara in the kitchen, just as she finished unpacking the grocery bags.

“You know,” Buffy said, “I can manage to go to the store myself. I even buy vegetables sometimes.”

Tara laughed. “I noticed you were nearly out of milk last night, and given how often I'm over here, I thought I should chip in.”

Buffy sat down, and though she tried to hide it, Tara could see her wincing slightly at the change of position.

“You're still hurting?”

Buffy nodded. “I don't suppose you have some magic spell to stop pain?”

Tara smiled and shook her head.

“Even if I did, the pain is there for a reason. Your body is reminding you not to overdo it.”

“What's the point of being friends with a witch if you won't do any of the fun magic?” Buffy pouted for a moment. “So, are you going again? Only Willow is out, so...”

“I didn't come over to talk to Willow,” Tara said. “I wanted to see you.”

“Oh,” Buffy said. “So you two aren't…?”

“No,” Tara confirmed. “I mean, Willow is great, and she's always going to be special to me, but if we got back together… it would feel like moving backwards, you know? And that's not what I want right now.”

“Oh.”

“Besides,” Tara added, trying to keep her voice steady. “I- I'm interested in s-someone else.”

“Oh,” Buffy said again. “Well that's – I mean, that's fine, you know. 'Cause you're allowed to move on – we should all move on. Only I don't – I'm not really – well. But you, you should definitely, uh. Tell this girl how you feel, ask her out, you know. That stuff. 'Cause that's fine.”

“Buffy,” Tara said softly. Buffy looked at her, and finally fell silent. “That's what I'm, uh. I'm t-trying to tell you that I… well, that it's you.”

“Oh.”

“It doesn't have to change anything,” Tara blurted out. “I'm not going to stop being your friend if you say you're not interested – or if you are, and we – I mean. I'm always going to be your friend, if you want me to be. But Buffy, I – I think you're amazing, and I think we could be good together, maybe. I want to see if we are. If that's okay with you.”

“I -” Buffy looked surprised, but Tara had no idea if that was good or bad. “Do you want to see a movie, maybe? Or coffee, we could get coffee. That's a thing people do, isn't it?”

“You mean…?” Tara asked, hope fluttering in her chest.

“Or maybe I could kiss you?” Buffy asked. “That sounds like a really good idea right now.”

“I'd like that,” Tara said.

As soon as the words left her mouth, Buffy got to her feet, and stepped towards her, but then she seemed to falter. Gently, hesitantly, she put her hand on Tara's cheek, and pulled her in for a kiss.

After a second or two, Buffy pulled back. Her hand found Tara's, twining their fingers together. Both of them were smiling.

“I don't have class this afternoon,” Tara told her. “I could stay over and watch that movie.”

“That sounds nice,” Buffy said softly. “Can there be more kissing?”

“If you want there to be.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

 


End file.
